TOLONGI PELAJAR DI MESIR

update dari mesir untuk tatapan mereka yang berkenaan

petikan dari blog denaihati.com

Assalamualaikum dan salam 1Dunia, entri ini adalah khidmat masyarakat membantu Rakyat Malaysia di Mesir yang memerlukan bantuan segera Kerajaan Malaysia. Entri adalah sumber daripada entri khas yang dibuat oleh Ariffshah, yanmieonline dan Kak Jie (dengan kebenaran).

Petikan dari blog Kak Jie : Saya dapat message dari @DyyaDizarch salah seorang pelajar perubatan di Mesir yang sedang berusaha memohon bantuan dan perhatian Kerajaan Malaysia tentang situasi sebenar di Mesir. Mengikut blog krisismesirnasibrakyatkita.blogspot.com

ok.. yang kat comment tu update dari kawan pompuan.. wallat die kene curi.. hilang 1000.. dan die yang cakap airport kat Alexandria dah kene bakar…
ni update dari adik saya..

keadaan semakin teruk.. polis kat Alexandria sume dah tak ada.. dan memang tak ade rulez… post balai polis sume dah kene bakar.. n senjata sume orang awam dah curi..dan banduan sume dah kene lepas…

pagi tadi adik tetibe call.. suruh call balik.. emergency… die cakap internet sume dah down.. message pun tak boleh… n time tu battery die low… suruh die charge.. worse.. die cakap tak boleh charge sbb power tak ada… skarg xsure la ade ke xde…tp kalau xde.. it’s a big problem… sbb satu2 cara nak contact diorg ialah call.. kalau phone tak ada battery dan tak boleh charge or no kredit so dah tak boleh call..

dan gov egypt plan nak cut bekalan air.. tp sampai skarg boleh pakai lagi .. tak tau bile diorg nak cut..
so dia orang hidup dalam kegelapan…

then ATM semua tak boleh pakai .. kedai sume xleh ttp… n ni satu masalah.. ssh diorg nak balik.. airport terdekat kat Alexandria dah kene bakar.. thne tak ada duit sbb ATM sume down… n brg adik cakap harga sume melambung… of course bg sy at-salat mengambik lesempatan.. call 5 saan utk 4 5 genih tu sangat melampau… xsampai seminit pn.. n harga top up pn mahal skarg.. taxi even worst.. super mahal gle… makanan dh kurang.. n duit xleh kuar n harga melambung..

Petikan dari blog Ariffshah :

Salam Ariff, saya Nadia, a student in Egypt.

Ariff, kini saya berada di Malaysia kerana pulang untuk winter break, but when I gothome, the condition in Egypt somehow got worse about the Hosni Mubarak thingy. Ramai yang sangka keadaan kat sana adalah okay, mengikut kata Jabatan Penuntut Kaherah Mesir dan Kedutaan Malaysia di sana, but there are parts that they don’t know:

Di tempat saya Mansoura, people got killed on the streets, houses are getting robbed and they are aiming to attack Malaysian students. There are about 6000 prisoners on the streets! Pelajar kita di Alexandria dirogol, airport dibakar dan anggota polis tidak lagi menjalankan tugas mereka.

Kita memohon supaya kerajaan Malaysia memandang serius hal ini. Bukan sahaja di Mansoura, malah di seluruh Mesir keselamatan rakyat kita terancam.

Segala update berkenaan keadaan di sana boleh dibaca melalui blog Krisis Mesir, Nasib Pelajar Kita

Jika ada cadangan di luar sana untuk membantu kami mendapatkan perhatian kerajaan Malaysia, sila hubungi Nurul Nadia Binti Md Zin di 017-3193923

Atau melalui:
Facebook: Nuvul Nadiva Dizavch
Twitter: DyyaDizarch
Blog: Nadia-ism
YM: nadia_mdzin2001@yahoo.com

Please let all Malaysians know about this. I will do the same but I need your help too especially to all the bloggers out there. May Allah save our citizens there.

- Nadia

Sahabat baik aku mempunyai dua anak yang sedang menuntut di sebuah Madrasah Tahfiz di Mesir, semuga Allah beri perlindungan ke atas mereka dan seluruh rakyat Malaysia di Mesir.

Jadi apa yang perlu ANDA buat?

1. Kalau ada Twitter, retweet this. Click the retweet button. Lagi banyak, lagi bagus. It show’s that things are really serious there and we care.
2. Reblog this. Copy paste dan post dalam blog. Time ni memang aku galakkan sangat-sangat untuk korang copy paste.
3. Share this on Facebook.

diharapkan sedikit sumbangan kecil ini mampu menyelamatkan nyawa dan keselamatan rakyat malaysia kita.. amin.

BRUTALITY AND INTERWOVEN CENSORSHIP

verbalresistance:

The brutality and interwoven censorship of the dictatorship continues to escalate.

NB. “haram” in this context simply means ‘explicitly religiously forbidden’ under Islamic teachings - in this case, the doctor is likely referring to the brutal crackdown of the regime against the protesters in general and in particular the murdering of innocent civilians seeking freedom with live ammunition.

TAKEN FROM:

http://hydrogenbromide.tumblr.com/post/3013675720/verbalresistance-the-brutality-and-interwoven

You have the power to change everything, let's start by praying, reciting anything that comes into your mind. We have to fight for justice.

CIKGU MALA

Bismillah hir-Rahman nir-Rahim,

Assalamualaikum,

Allahumma Solli A'la Saiyidna Muhamad, Waa'la aa'li Saiyidna Muhamad.

Menulis bertemankan matahari yang malu-malu mahu turun, ah, senja memang indah.

1

Cikgu Normala Sudirman, yang dikatakan kalah. Wakil calon PAS kawasan Tenang. Tidak perlu membuat analisa lebih-lebih untuk mengetahui mengapa kekalahan ini terjadi. Tepuk dada, tanya selera. Tapi nanti dihadapan Allah swt, tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian, kalian ngga dapat menipu lagi.

2

Kalian, saya mahu bawakan satu berita gempar, yang kalau saya tidak belajar ekonomi ini, tidak akan ambil pusing lansung mengenai FDI ini. Rujuk gambar dibawah ya. Ya, kita hampir bankrupt, saudara-saudari sekalian. Kalau masalah outflow and reduced FDI ini berlaku lebih lama lagi pada masa hadapan, aduh, mungkin kita akan menjadi seperti Greece, dan Mesir. Mungkin. Kita sangat bergantung kepada external exports dan FDI untuk perkembangan ekonomi kita, dan kalaunya investors kita hilang keyakinan, maka, bagaimana mahu generate employments and growth? Kalau ikut islamic economy nya, banyak cara ya, tapinya kita ini ngga pernah ambil pusing tentang islamic economy, ya? (wah, to write about economic in Malay, or Manglish, is really hard!)

3

Saya sudah lupa betapa nikmatnya telur goreng. Ya, hari-hari makan sambal ikan bilis. Mudah. Saat-saat kritikal ini jangan ditanya diet kami. Tapinya, bagaimana pemakanan saudara-saudara kita di Mesir sana? Kasihan sekali. Penduduknya rata-rata hidup dengan US$ 2 sehari, tapinya GDP nya 4.9% pada 2009! Ngga masuk akal sekali negara ini. Kaya raya, tapi penduduknya secara purata sangat miskin.

Doakan, doakan mereka, sahabat-sahabatku, doakan semua umat Islam diseluruh dunia yang tertindas, yang berada dibawah cengkaman para pemerintah yang munafik, yang disekat segala hak-hak kemanusiaan. Doakan kami jua disini.

Allahu Akbar!

TENANGLAH

Bismillah hir-Rahman nir-Rahim,

Assalamualaikum,

Allahumma Solli A'la Saiyidna Muhamad, Waa'la aa'li Saiyidna Muhamad.

1

Petang terindah di Durham, mataharinya memancar cantik, menyihirku dengan senyumannya yang selalu membuat aku penasaran. Kata kawanku, hujan selalu membuatnya rindu, rindu pada semua kenangan. Dan kataku, hujan selalu membuatku sedih, rindu pada Sang Matahari. Aneh ya, punya ikatan yang sangat kuat dengan matahari.

2

Dia, adalah lelaki yang penuh dengan kebaikan. Kebaikan yang menakjubkan. Aku kadang-kadang tidak nampak akan fizikalnya, dia adalah seperti satu gumpalan awan yang sangat penuh dengan kebaikan. Ya, aku selalu pikir, dia itu tidak terdiri dari darah, tulang, daging dan kulit, dia itu adalah sejuta kebaikan, yang terlalu ajaib untuk diterjemahkan dengan kata-kata. Yang selalu membuatku menangis kerana Tuhan itu Maha Ajaib.

3

Senja kelmarin, setelah sepanjang hari dipenuhi dengan kabus, hadir dengan rona-rona merah. Aku nampak garisan panjang melintang ke sana ke mari. Pikirku, meteor kah? Atau pikir nakalku, itu jin kah, terbang ke sana ke mari bermain dengan awan? Ah kawan ku bilang, itu jet! Kok Britain punya banyak jet pejuang?

4

Dan senja yang merah itu , SubhanAllah, kalau dilihat dari tingkapku yang kecil ini, ia seperti dataran di Afrika, dengan pokok-pokok tidak berdaun, ranting-ranting yang ceria melambai dia. Kemari lagi ya, pesan mereka dengan senyum yang menggoda, jangan berlama-lama di sana.

Ah, kamu, aku cemburu, benar-benar cemburu.

5

Aku memikirkan tentang dia, dia, dia dan dia. Betapa ramai manusia yang punya derita berat, dan tidak memungkinkan aku bersama-sama memikulnya. Kalau kamu mahu, sahabatku, aku ini tidak punya apa-apa, bahkan kadang-kadang aku takut doa-doa ku tentang kamu tidak diangkat ke langit dek besarnya dosa-dosa ku. Tapi aku cuma punya bahu, kalau mahu menangis di bahuku, ya, silakan sahaja. Tumpang lah. Tumpanglah walau ia kecil. Memang takdir ini celaka, kalau kamu negatif. Tapinya sahabat, sudah ku bilang, dan akan ku bilang lagi sampai kapan pun, bahawa takdir itu, sangat indah.

Tenanglah.

G8

Bismillah hirRahman nirRahiim,

Assalamualaikum,

Kullu am wa antum bikhair.

1

Wah, hari ini banyak sekali kabusnya. Terasa benar-benar di musim dingin ini. Mahu belajar tapi malas, ya, hakikatnya begini. Apa itu maksud belajar? Katakan pada ku, apa membaca itu belajar? Mengira? Menulis? Berfikir? Atau ya, semuanya ini terangkum dalam satu perkataan agung itu? Terbaca di satu jurnal, entah dimana tidak sempat di'save' kayaknya, dikatakan sistem pembelajaran di Jerman itu sangat ampuh sekali untuk vokasionalnya, untuk teknikalnya. Masakan tidak, hanya 1-2 hari sahaja ke kelas, dan 2-3 hari ke tempat kerja. Boss akan memberi sedikit imbuhan khabarnya. Lumayan, ilmu di dalam dan diluar kelas didapati, theories dan practical itu seiring. Boleh ngga buat di Malaysia? Apa? Apa katamu? Sistem apa ini?

Aduhai sahabat, Jerman itu (I feel so weird to spell it using J, instead of G), walaupun dengar-dengarnya akan bankrupt, ia tetap negara maju, negara G8, negara yang kuat teknologinya, negara yang bolasepaknya maju (opps), kalau kita ngga mahu tiru cara pembelajaran al-Azhar, nah, tiru sahaja sistem ini.

Simple, we do not have to produce lots of policies, which are useless anyway in my opinions. To prepare thousands conferences and papers and paperworks, with the dismal results. Ya, saya bukan expert dalam bidang pembelajaran, tapi saya berani cakap, berdasarkan pengalaman sendiri dan manusia lain, sistem pendidikian kita itu bukan membawa kita lebih dekat mengenal Tuhan. Dan apa tujuan hidup kalau bukan kerana-Nya, hanya kerana-Nya?

Cliche' , cliche' , Nur.

Lantasnya, apa tujuan anda membaca post ini?

2

Today is Friday, please recite selawat a thousand times if you may.Allahumma Solli ala' Sayydina Muhamad wa a'la alihi Sayydina Muhammad. Seorang sahabat berkata, ulama'-ulama' dulu jarang membicarakan tentang khilaf, mereke lebih menekan kan tentang peri utamanya mengingat Allah, dan sahabat-sahabat yang ku kasihi sekalian, selawat ini adalah kunci kepada segala PINTU yang ada di langit dan di bumi.

3

I just realize, she never really smiles in her photos. True, she always smiles, giving her best pose, yet her beautiful eyes never smile. It seems like the sadness has been pooled and reflected, yet she never realizes it. It is sadder when she doesn't realize it.

4

All right, I'm going to study now. Please pray for us aiih.

HAIRAN

Bismillah hirRahman nirRahiim,

Assalamualaikum,

Kullu am wa antum bikhair.

Moga-moga kamu berada di dalam jalan-Nya. Meskipun pahit untuk tetap berada di jalan-Nya, saya doakan kita tetap sama-sama melangkah, biar mungkin terpaksa mengesot, atau merangkak, tetaplah kedua belah kakimu, sahabat. Biarkan magis doa-doa kita berterbangan di angkasa raya.

1

A friend wrote to me - hahha tu la saya heran camner awak tulis tanpa faham conceptual framework tapi memang ada conceptual framewrok and theorotical framework dalam paper awk.

At first I was puzzled and humbled, but I totally understand now what are meant by conceptual framework and literature review. But we also have an econometric modelling. However, I'm just a beginner. For thus who see that I'm a somebody in my area, please don't be. All is from Him, and Him alone should all the praises go to. And if you need any helps, in any areas, please feel free to ask.

2

After helping a friend in checking her thesis which is about designing a crime preventive measure in term of building physical environment (house design etc etc), I'm more than convinced that I love the crime topic more than anything. Such a comical life that I lead.

3

There was a political unrest in Tunisia, and it has been spreading to Egypt, Yemen and Gabon. Well-done, at last the young generations dare to stand up and fight for the right. I wonder, will this situation happen in Malaysia? Some bloggers write that instead of changing the government, why don't we improve the current government and governance? Heck, have they read 'SHIT' book by Prof. Shahnon Ahmad? The current generation has been anesthetized by many hedonistic programs, resulting in indifferent attitudes.

I realize, indeed it is true that we need a village to raise a child. Remember that Allah swt has prescribed the best way to teach people: By (the Token of ) Time (through the ages); Verily Man is in Loss, Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (103)

4

It's Friday already! And I haven't finish doing things that I'm supposed to do. For the past few days, the weather decides to be somber grey, and it's raining almost everyday. The sun doesn't even show him pretty self, and somehow, it makes me sad beyond reasons. *sigh* The motivation to do something has been lost, owh Sun, you, you!

5

My 'roh' has paid several visits to many people today. Sometimes friends claim that I never remember them, as I never bother to keep in touch. What a harsh word. Well well well, let me tell you something, I do, I do remember you, with all my heart. Before, when I remember someone, I just remember. But now, I make a prayer - To Allah swt, The Most Merciful, The Most Gracious, please protect Mr./Miss/Madam X, guide him/her to your straight path, show him/her your mercy, shower him/her with your bountiful blessings, forgive her/him, and grant him/her paradise.

See? I do remember you. Dalam sujud-sujud dan doa rabitah ku. Dan kayak nya, gue ngga peduli kalau kamu ngga ingat sama gue, kerana gue mahu Tuhan Yang Maha Penyayang itu peduli sama gue. Dan ditakdir-Nya kamu ingat pada gue, alhamdulillah. Kalau tidak, ya, baik-baik sahaja. Tapinya, gue sangat berharap doa gue tentang kamu terus naik ke arasyi tanpa hijab. Because, just because.

ADAB CINTA

Bismillah hirRahman nirRahiim,

Assalamualaikum,

Kullu am wa antum bikhair.

Someone googles 'adab cinta bagi seorang perempuan yang hafal AlQuran', and s/he finds my blog. I'm honoured, even though my blog doesn't provide any tips for love. But I'm really curious, is there any adab/ rules (rules, or etiquette, maxim, or basis could never describe 'adab', perhaps because the word conveys a very deep meaning on the soft behaviour, I don't know) for such lady when she is in love?

There are rules for players, I know, but I never apply it, it's a game too dangerous to play, and it's not a game in the first place. But to dictate some 'adab' when you are in love, wow, that takes love to a higher level than its already great position.

Seni seviyorum.

'DUDUK'

Bismillah hirRahman nirRahiim,

Assalamualaikum,

Kullu am wa antum bikhair.

Nyaman-nyaman sahaja hari ini, cuaca nya bagus sekali, sudah 6 darjah Celsius. Kalau esok cuacanya masih begini, waduh, alhamdulillah.

Mahu blog mengenai lagu, boleh kah? Saya terbaca satu ayat yang menyamankan jiwa, doa itu lagu hati, entah saya curi dimana ngga bisa ingat lagi. Saya bukan peminat musik tegar. Kalau ditanya siapa penyanyi paling terkenal sekali, boleh saya bariskan seperti Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber dan Siti Nurhaliza kah? Sewaktu puluhan ribu rakyat manusia menonton AJL kelmarin, saya tidak ambil pusing lansung. Saya memang begini, punya satu penyakit paling jelek itu.

Tapi, bila saya menonton dan mendengar klip diatas, sewaktu 'duduk' didendangkan, dan violin dinarikan, saya tiba-tiba terasa dibawa ke satu alam indah yang tidak dapat saya gambarkan dan terjemahkan dalam kata-kata.

Iya, terasa macam lagu ulik mayang pun ada jua! Disini saya kagum dengan Yanni, dia memperkenalkan duduk, alat musik yang sudah berusia 3000 tahun, berasal dari Armenia. Kalau kita, alat musik apa yang masih kita pertahankan? Kordofon? Ah, saya pasti ada yang meng'google' alat ini. Benar, ada sahaja ulama' yang pasti mempertahankan pendapat yang mengatakan musik ini haram, ada sahaja yang kata harus. Terpulang, tepuk dada, tanya selera.

Adoi, really hard writing in good malay!

BREAK MY HEART

Bismillah hirRahman nirRahiim,

Assalamualaikum,

Kullu am wa antum bikhair.

In studying the impact of documented migrant workers, I have came across the issues related to the illegal workers. If I dig deeper, I will stumble upon the human trafficking issue, which just reading on its surface will break my heart.

Hear me, what compel a person to leave practically everything and starts a new life at foreign soils? The biggest push factors are unemployment and poverty while the biggest pull factors are the demand for low-paid services labour. But sometimes people believe that instead of selling a physical labour and service, it's better to sell a human. Read this: the total revenue from this illegal trade is between USD 5-9 billion annually.

I nearly vomit when I read the experiences told by the survivors of this most cruel trade: human trafficking. They are human, made from flesh and bloods, they are not a cute kitten or a beautiful flurry coat. Most of them are women and children (additional: of course there are males as well, come to think about it, it's seriously weird), yet the traders dare to touch these precious beings with their dirty hands. Most of them are being tricked and lured into this business, and many of them are kidnapped from their respective families.

I come from an affluent migrant family, therefore I am protected, alhamdulillah, from these kinds of lives. My families and relatives are involved in legal businesses, thus my experiences with the evil worlds are very limited, or perhaps to nonexistence. My knowledge come from books and films, as I am yet to encounter the depth of this evil trading. I always migrate, but as a knowledge-seeker, not as an income earner.

I always have this irrational desire to investigate this kind of issues. My original topic is Economics and Crime, focusing on the prison, but my sponsor wants me to examine the level and consequences of corruption in Malaysia, which I doubt I'll be alive after publishing my papers. My sister wants to study the human trafficking in Malaysia, which may bring her to neighbouring countries, alas her SV has opposed it as it's a dangerous topic for a lady. My other sister wants to specialize in the forensic and crime scene investigation, alas my Dad has prevented it. We may not have the police blood in our veins, but the sense of justice is still prevailing, and thus drive us to seek equity, fairness, integrity and freedom.

We are, if you may believe it, a justice fighter.

1-5

1

A somber, grey, sad sky, perfectly fits the picture of an evening winter. But there is a ray of sunshines, smiling prettily, waving good bye, wishing a good moonlight and a beautiful of starry night. You! As if you know how to heal the hurt. I'll see you tomorrow morning, Mr. Sunshine, insyaAllah.

2

A friend wrote that the pressure level of doing a research is at mega super super mega level. A friend told me that it's really annoying to see people at this stage. Yes, it will not only affect our moods, attitudes, behaviours, but also our lives. I'm not asking for the understanding, but I do not expect the sneers, jeers, and the illogical animosity. I'm still a human, and it should be the sole reason for any treatment that I receive.

3

At twilight, it's still the most beautiful painting I've came across. If I'm a painter, I will create a thousand pieces of arts reflecting its gorgeousness. If I'm the pianist, I'll play the songs worthy of its beauty. If I'm the singer, I'll sing the most wonderful song, celebrating its majesty. If I'm a writer, I'll write a million pages on its splendour and magnificence. Alas, I'm just a normal being.

Is there any words that could convey exact my feelings? Grateful. Yes, the word is grateful.

4

I'm going to study Sejarah next time. Writing in BM, see if my brains can cope it. Why do we have to write in English then? Is it because British and USA win the World War II? In Japan, for example, the language used during business transactions are Japanese. May be it has changed recently, but still, Japan is a member of G8. Comprehend that. May be I should start learning Japanese then.

5

I can't sleep, maybe I have drank so many coffee and tea. The amount of imported coffee and tea in Malaysia is at a staggering over RM6 billion in 2008 alone. We have Lipton, we have Boh, why do we have to import all of these kind of teas and coffees? This is called meeting various consumer demands. According to Miss Geologist, Britain imports tea and coffee from us (Southeast Asian countries), most of it, because they do not have tea and coffee plantations. Yah, and I buy Twinning teas, Harrods teas and Whittard teas and coffee. Owh Allahim.

TO DO

Taken from Huda

Taken from The Escapism

Taken from awohh I forgot again. Forgive me.

Salams,

Please pray for our safety and sanity here. We need it, owh we so need it.

MINUS FOUR

Salams,

Bismillah hir-Rahman nir-Rahiim,

1

I was out at 7.55am today, where the sun barely shows himself. The weather is extremely cold, it is minus 4 (-4 Celsius). I went to Bowburn to bid Ustaz Mazlee and Ustazah Hamidah goodbye. I feel like a hole in my heart, even though I'm not that close to them. They were among the families that asked my parents to have dinners, and for that, and many other reasons, I am greatly grateful. I wish all the best for their future undertakings, and I'm going to miss that little Mujadid.

2

Because it is so cold today, and I am out for quite sometimes, I feel close to fever. Yah, my room is really warm, and we don't expect that the temperature will fall so low. The sun is shining so brightly, yet the day is so cold. Deceitful. How could you smile so beautifully, yet so coldly? My face feels numb, my hands icy, and there are frosted leaves everywhere. Truly magnificent scenery, yet it's chilled to the bones.

3

My SV asks me, are you happy with your study? Why does he ask me out of sudden? Is he happy with my progress? Nervously, I answer that I'm totally happy. Yes, if my fellow friends read the following paragraphs, they will have their best laugh for today.

Why I'm happy?

I know the different between time series and panel data. I know the adf test, how to read the p-test, what's meant by significance. I know OLS, and their residual tests. I know robustness. I know VAR. To write these embarrassing simple things will embarrass me further, these are the kinds of first year economic students should know. But hell yeah, I know how to contexualization it with the literature review, theories and modelling in the present case. Even though it's really simple.

How could I'm not be happy? Rasa nak lompat-lompat macam kanak-kanak Ribena. Alhamdulillah.

4

As I've been sleeping for nearly half a day, let's study for at least half a day, shall we?

IBERIAN PENINSULA

Assalamualaikum wbk,

Bismillah hirRahman nirRahiim,

Was studying, am studying and will be forever studying, insyaAllah.

1

Yesterday, I saw a coffin in a limousine, indicating a death of an elder. My hostel is situated directly in front of a old folk home. Shivering, I couldn't contain my sadness for a while. Sad for inexplicable reason and afraid for my own death. Death is inevitable, said my SV. So do tax and sunshines.

2

In reading some articles regarding to the public role, I have came across Iberian Peninsula, where Islam has been predominated since early 8th century. Where is it? It turns out that it's near to Gibraltar. A place where I visit last two years with my parents. The self-proclaimed best fish and chips. The shopping trips. And the cheeky monkeys. I should never live in the past, really. And you, enjoy your Spain trip!

3

Is drinking coffee bad for your health? I've bought the coffee, Douwe Egberts, own by Dutch, and start drinking it with milk. Not my cup of tea, usually I don't abuse my body with putting in more sugar and caffeine. I don't drink juices as well, I should take advantage of the cheaper juices here. I've read somewhere that the best coffee is Kopi Luwak, the most expensive and tastiest, and it's originated from Indonesia! And here I am, drinking coffee from the Netherlands. Disgusting.

4

My room is situated directly facing the sun. We have an extremely good weather nowadays, warmer and more sunshines. But as the British sky is quite empty of the clouds, the sun shines harshly sometimes, burning my face. I'm already a dark-skinned lady, I'm afraid that I'll become unrecognizable at the end of my study. Sigh.

LONDON FRIEND

Salams,

OMO,!

I'm studying (Yes, I'm studying, ladies and gentlemen, I disbelieve it myself) while listening to the No Min Woo's song called Trap, and OST from My girlfriend is Gumiho, and omo, out of no where, the moon itself is presenting herself prettily in front of me. It's nearly a full moon now. Many associate the dark magics and evil activities with the full moon. I haven't watch Twilight film series except Twilight ( I find it extremely boring), and everyone seems crazier when the full moon appears! Owh, Moon, how could a thing as beautiful as you be related to the ugly things such as black hearts? It doesn't make sense, doesn't make sense at all.

1

I'm lazying myself and immerse in the kdrama land. I originally want to kill my dinner time by watching a part of a drama, but boy, I'm hooked with the MGIG! Let's be honest, I never like dramas, it's a DRAMA, what do you expect from a drama then? More angst, angst and angst. And the plots are always cliche. Apart from GHOST, IRIS, BOF and SKKS, none of other dramas have managed me to be sucked into their worlds. And now MGIG. I was skeptical at first, the actors are not attractive enough to engage my attentions, and supernatural involvement always scared me more than a little. But this, drama, you, you, I die literally from laughing, laughing, crying and laughing again! Yes, the show, as Girlfriday put it, owes me, heart, body and soul.

2

I haven't start my third paper summary. Suddenly it occurs to me that today is the first time that I couldn't be able to accompany my dad to the hospital. This. Kill. Me. More. Than. You. Could. Imagine. Right now I imagine, after breakfast at the mamak stall, he will go there, in the wheelchair and waiting the nurse to prepare the blood transfusion. Usually he asks me to buy the papers, and we normally have a normal conversation about the stupid politicians that are trying to rob our country's wealth. Or he is simply reminiscing about the past, or he is trying to make conversations with other patients. I hate needles, I hate it so much. I hate hospital, and I pray that I do not have to be there, for what-ever reasons.

3

The Northern Star isn't here today, again. The moon looks so lonely. However, there are lots of other stars that enough to make my heart flutters. Today, I have witnessed the greatest sky painting ever at dusk. Suddenly I remember the 'roh' concept, taught by a friend. If he is correct, then the concept is awesome. I like it. I like it so so so so so much. The essence of the concept is 'roh' isn't bounded by time and space. If I remember you, it means, perhaps, PERHAPS ( I have to capitalize it in case it is misunderstood or wronged), my 'roh' meets yous. Awwww. This is the sweetest concept ever. That's why distance in the gravity concept doesn't mean anything, figuratively. Omo.

4

London friend is going home tomorrow. I wish I can pay her the last visit, as well as the perfect excuse to visit London and Heathrow Airport again. Heathrow Airport and I have such a damning relationship. I admire her, I admire her so much. I admire every single friend that I've ever made on the earth. I think, in my case anyway, admiration is an essential element for a friendship. I know, I know it's ridiculous, but I could never respect a friend if there is no admirable traits, and respect is the most important ingredient. It is practically a root, without it a plant will die.

And she practically has restored my spirit by her compliments yesterday, thank you, sister. I am nearly given up of everything, but you, you have opened up my eyes.

5

Well, I need to write down the technology transfer and remittance now. This chapter is killing me, but I've already promised myself that I won't die. I simply won't. You too, please do not die. And Moon, good prettily bye!

RANT AND RAVE

Salams,

Still need another 4500 words to be written. I've been writing crap things so far. There is a scary side of myself that I always know exist, disregard, but I never let it affects my works before. This word carries weight more than the meaning of negligence, but less than thoughtlessness. I just couldn't care about this piece of crap anymore. Conceptualization, go hang yourself.

1

There is a half moon outside to be enjoyed. Owh I'm in love. But, where is the Northern Star? I feel like to climb out and stay on the roof, gazing at it. Honestly, when I'm in the room, I forget that we are in the cold winter. The heater is always on. And the best thing is: the warm towel after a shower. Yes, unless you never experience the coldest wind that could eat your soul, you never appreciate the warmness. My dad hypothetically assumes that the temperature in the UK is much much colder in comparison to the NZ, because we have volcanoes over there. Is it right, Miss Geologist?

2

I was remarking to my flatmate how lucky the people in the UK to have services for disable people. Mentally disable people, for examples those who can't organise their diet as well as financial matters. Eating-disorder and shopaholic? I've been both, I do not think I need advices or even people to manage my life, thank you very much. Then I casually stated that this is perhaps what people in developing countries miss, we couldn't afford to allocate the resources to help these kind of people, simply that we have many many urgent national problems to attend to. What a surprised reply that I had, she told me that these kinds of services are provided due to severity of family disfunctionality in the UK. Seriously? What a tear-jerker wake-up call.

3

I listen to Animal Song by Savage Garden. Is the song ask us to further support capitalism and freedom of speech, which are totally against Islamic teachings? Well, the economist in me could never leave the cost-and-benefit analysis at home. Unlike some, I could never fall in love with the rhythm of a song. I must fall in love with the lyric in order to love a song, even though korean songs do make exceptions here. When I was in the chess competitions, I always sing Live songs to calm myself down, and be damn with whatever taught strategies. I love They Stood Up for Love song especially purely due to both lyric and rhythm. Tapping my fingers on the table, no wonder my opponents go crazy. But honestly, chess tournaments are crazy.

4

Are you missing me? No? Cheeky. They say distance doesn't matter when it comes to the matter of heart. According to the gravity theory,distance between objects/subjects is instrumental. Put it in a simple word, the bigger the distance is, the less tie will be. Therefore, this theory implies bahawa keberadaan itu sangat penting. Trues, absence makes a heart grows fonder. But remember, familiarity breeds contempts too. Atau, adoh tanpa wangenan cedhak datan senggolan? Awww, sweet.

Madness. Soul, what on earth drive you to this madness?

ACCEPTING REALITY

Salams,

*Komentar akan dibalas seawal-awalnya esok ya. Keadaan kelam kabut disini. Banjir hujan ribut petir*

1

Masih menulis. Sudah 1100 perkataan. Perlu 900 perkataan. Ya ampun, kayaknya gue sudah pancit. Ngga mampu menulis. Tapi ngga mahu tidur, the dream eater will chase me. Idea itu seperti jadual tidur baby, menurut kawan saya. Ah, manis sekali bukan kalau ia datang semasa sedang menghadap computer. Ini tidak, ia selalunya datang semasa mandi, memasak dan mahu tidur! Allahim. Allahim. I hate it the most when it comes when I already half-dead, half asleep, the words come dancing shameless, and owh no, it is beautiful! I vow to myself that I'll remember it the next morning, but alas, it is to no avail.

2

I am laughing out of my breath when I read this, it is posted in my friend's tumblr - Market needs not to be self-creating, self-regulating, self-stabilizing and self-legitimizing. So, basically, are you Keynesian pro now, no? It is a statement basically announces to fully support the notion of government intervention.

3

To prepare oneself of accepting reality is real hard, right? No amount of preparations can prepare you, I assure you. All I am asking, Ya Allah ya Rahman ya Rahiim, please grant me the ability to be calmed, when the time comes.

4

Mum asked me to cut my hairs, due to several reasons that I have no energy to write on. Do I feel remorse? Yes. Mourning about it. Here I repost the entry about it, exactly mirroring my current feelings now.

I’ve mutilated my hairs. I crop it, cop it, and abuse it. Without guilty, I snip it happily, using mirror as the only witness to my temporary insanity. If I am brought to the Chamber of Justice, I will laugh heartily to the harsh accusation of the ill-treatment to the most sacred property of women: hairs.

If all sins can be forgiven through the pleading of the temporary insanity, the world will be the darkest place to live in the entire universe.

But I always have an irrational desire to influence the style of my hairs. Short, long, curly, straight. Perhaps influence is not the accurate word; I need the power to manipulate how my hairs look like. Or more likely, it is an instrument for me to let the depression out before it has a chance to envelope me. And I don’t give a damn to the criticisms. Maybe I dye it one day, if the plead of temporary insanity is still legally applied to me *sigh* or just to irritate the hell of out you.

No fear, I have no slightest intention of turning my hairs’ colour into blonde, or red, or purple, or delicious blue. Reason? I’m not interested in doing it. Let’s that be an untold, unattainable fantasy for some. Because you know, some people are just like a tip of iceberg. You strip the layers of fats, muscles and bones; you have the privilege to stare directly into their souls. Whether it is ugly of beautiful, don’t forget to use the reason of temporary insanity if the souls repulse you, or attract you. Come to think about it, maybe, just maybe, you are the one who are guilty beyond reasonable doubts of temporary insanity for falling in love or out of love.

A quote that I found somewhere in my bloglists –“ Nobody can think straight when high on passionate love. People are not allowed to sign contracts when they are drunk, and I sometimes wish we could prevent people from proposing marriage when they are high on passionate love”, Prof. Jonathan Haidt (21^st century), a leading researcher in the positive psychology department.

My dear readers, before the fire of speculations becomes unruly, I’m not intoxicatingly in love, I’m not depressed (owh I know you want to challenge these self-proclamations), I’m still rational, sensible and sane. Just a thought for your lunch. Happy lunching. Let me float to the magnificent dreamland, where the unrest, weary hearts become stronger, wiser, and happier. Come with me, if you may.

USELESS

Salams,

* WARNING: THE CONTAINS OF THE ENTRY ARE NEITHER USEFUL NOR INFORMATIVE. ALL DAMAGES RESULTED ARE NOT THE RESPONSIBLE OF THE AUTHOR. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD STOP HERE.*

1

I spend the entire morning reading the attached papers sent by SV. All of these papers are not related to my papers, why does he send it though? He does have a wicked sense of humour. I do not have neither time nor heart to do another paper. The literature review will take months to do, not to mention that I have to build my modelling specification. Well. Yes, it's much easier than a surgeon's homework, I know. But unless that I discard my sleeping and watching movie time, yes, I should be able to do it.

Bear with me, my dear readers, or just scrap the next entire paragraph. Jump into number 2.

The new topic sounds interesting. The theoretical foundation shouldn't be that hard to understand. However, I'm worried about the methodology. Most papers use cointegration, from general-to-specific model. For me, to learn an entire new method is killing me. I know that I long to learn ARDL, because it is the alternative methods to cointegration, but I am out of race here. Since Lady Essex is away at Malaysia, and if SV asked me nicely to rewrite the last paper, Owh Allah, I couldn't bear this trial anymore! Please , please help me. I beg you.

If he ever asked me to do it, I know what I shall do: I just do the OLS. Muhahahahha.

I know my last paper is a little bit crap. But I learn a lot from doing it. It's an awesome method, accompany by pretty pictures.Where, in world, that you can see prettier graphs than in Economics? Honestly? And it took me so much time to dig at the model. The new topic introduced by SV this time is much more interesting, I admit. Why, owh why does he not sending these papers earlier?

You know, one of our biggest problems is to satisfy the SV's curiosity, not ours. I'm the type that easily curious about things. True, I do not care, I'm just curious. How awful it is when I put it into words, aii? Call me cold-hearted doll. Whatever.

2

I have abused my eyes by watching too many gruesome Korean films. I have abused my ears by listening wholeheartedly to the soppy songs. And I have abused my stomach by eating the instant noodles. I hate it. I seldom eat it. Not even when I was penniless. The normal body reaction is to puke it. So, I waste my pounds and time by buying and eating it. But I have always been influenced by the ramen-eating scenes in the Japanese and Korean dramas. It must be delicious, aii? Wrong. A thousand wrongs.

If dramas could be categorized as immigration, it is one damn good immigrant. Transcending influences across time, space and dimensions. Bring it on baby.

3

Taking a break from readings that drives me up to the wall, I look at the sky again. It's a somber, grey, sad sky today. We have a brief snows, follow by baby rain. It's extremely cold outside due to the raging wind. I was contemplating to go outside to get some coffee, yes, I've became addicted to it, blame it to the London friends *wink wink*. I never drink coffee/tea before. My mum doesn't serve it, and let me tell you the secret, red sirap is much more attractive than the black coffee/tea. Would you believe it that I never touch Karipap before? Because it's hideous. Yes, what a neurotic child.

Owh, I am distracted from talking about the first thing that I want to tell. I see a flock of birds. Flying happily, with no concern at all. No readings, no homeworks, no modelling. I think, why is it called a flock of birds, not a school of birds? Burung-burung yang berkawan dari sekolah. That's nice. Instead, they call it a school of dolphins. Well, ikan lumba-lumba jua berkawan dari sekolah, kan?

4

Was and am thinking of going down to London. I have some unfinished businesses to be settled. Or, if the destiny called cointegration shows up at my door, I definitely head up to Leicester. But I really really really want to go to Amsterdam again, to see Anis and leave all the heartaches in the UK for a while. Come with me, if you may.

TIDAK BISA BERHENTI

Selama lima bulan yang lepas, saya tidak mampu menangis. Waima sesakit mana pun hati saya, sesedih mana pun diri saya, saya ngga mampu menitiskan air mata. Walaupun setitis. Walaupun semasa raya. Walaupun semasa saat-saat kritikal. Walaupun semasa saya mengucup tangan dan pipi ayah bunda yang sudah tua buat kali terakhir. Walaupun semasa melihat Bunda mengesat-ngesatkan air matanya semasa menghantar saya pulang.

Walaupun saya sendirian ataupun berada di tengah keramaian.

Atau mendengar berita yang paling sadis atau tragis. Atau menerima khabar bahagia.

Air mata itu tidak pernah mahu hadir. Padahal saya adalah anak yang sangat dikenali terlalu cengeng sekali.

Aneh, aneh sekali.

Anda pernah menangis sampai seperti hati anda tergantung pada satu tali? Kerana anda tahu, sekiranya anda melepaskan tali itu, anda akan mati. Ya, positif.

Saya tidak pernah terfikir yang saya ngga akan mampu menangis satu hari nanti. Saya punya kawan yang sangat ampuh jiwanya. Tidak pernah menitiskan air mata di depan saya kecuali semasa menghantar saya terbang. Saya tidak pernah terfikir bahawa saya akan menjadi seperti dia, hari ini. Mahu menangis, tetapi tangisan itu sudah lama berlalu, hilang dibawa pergi salji.

Apa mungkin pabila saya menangis, saya tidak akan bisa berhenti?

THE BEAUTIFUL NIGHT

Salams,

I was at page 45, and I couldn't go on. I reread and reread until it makes my head spinning. Last night I managed to go through 20 pages. And today, I manage to look at 25 pages more. Hardworking student, no?

Then the sun distracts me. The sunset. The colour of the sunset. Who ever could predict that I am being handed down the most beautiful gift ever? I get a room that face the field, the trees, and houses that look like in the movie set. My room is at the third floor, thus I can see everything down below.

The sky stretches out as wide as the eyes can see. It's not as blue as Jordan's sky. It's not as soft as at the Holy ground. But it still makes me cry. Without intention. Me, who can't even shed a tear when I hug my family.

This morning, when I slide the curtains, voila! There are snows everywhere. It's picturesque, beautiful yet cold to the core. And the sun greets me, subhAllah, how could a sun rise on the day that we have snows? Is it a way that Allah wants to convey me a message that faith and patience are definitely fruitful? Is it a comfort from Him? Ah, the ungrateful servant, forgive me, ya Allah.

And today, for the first time in a very long time, I see the crescent moon, waving goodbye cheerily to the tired sun. And how lovely it is that I'm able to watch the moon whenever I want to. I never have this kind of luxury before, I always wish for it, even when I was really small. I will wake up and pray at our small window, wishing that angels, the moon, and the stars will come out and greet me. You know, one of my very dreams before I die is to watch the night to pass, the starry night, where the stars are dancing madly and teasing each other.

Ah, the Northern Star has come out! You cheeky, have you appear to cheer me up?

p/s: watching the star and the moon with the song from secret garden as a background is not recommended.

PhD & PHD–part 1: Merc

Salam,

Lamanya tak menulis, mood takder, apa semua takder, risau pun takder, mandrom. Ini adalah syndrom jetlag. Sangat blur dengan kehidupan sendiri. Kemudiannya, paksa diri untuk membaca kembali papers yang telah ditulis. MasyaAllah. Kene betuli niat. Apa2 pun mesti buat kerana Allah swt. Nak betulkan niat bukan mudah, tapi perlahan-lahan lah. Bertatih2. Ada masa kita menang, ada masa kita tersungkur dengan perasaan yang tah haper2 ni. Anyway. Ini coretan kawan saya. Pergh. Pedulik kan apa orang kata. Kita ni sampai ke liang lahat akan ada orang mengata. Kalau lihat sampai sekarang ada sahaja orang mencaci2 Nabi Muhamad saw dan sahabat-sahabatnya. Kalau mereka-mereka yang dijanjikan syurga jua kene caci, apalah sangat saya ni yang iman pun senipis kulit bawang (tadi baru potong bawang, memang nipis sangat kulitnya). Kesimpulannya? Jaga diri masing2, jangan sampai masuk neraka. Nauzubillah. Disamping itu, ingat2kan kawan2 masing2. Kalau saya ini, sahabat2 sekalian, tersalah jalan, tolong tunjukkan, tegurlah.

____________________________________________________________________________________

PhD & PHD–part 1: Merc

Phd adalah singkatan yang biasa di tulis bagi merujuk kepada Doctor of Philosophy.

Manakala PHD pula boleh la dirujuk sebagai apa saja yang anda suka. Tapi yang saya ingin ceritakan di sini adalah mengenai PHD yang merujuk kepada Perasaan Hasad Dengki.

Ber YM dengan rakan sepejuangan beberapa hari lalu. Berkongsi suka duka dengan kehidupan di rantau orang. Yang merasainya saja yang faham. Bercerita tentang PhD yang sukar diperolehi dengan masa yang diperuntukkan, tetapi PHD yang amat mudah diperolehi daripada segolongan orang. Itulah hakikatnya.

MERC

Masa saya buat keputusan untuk belajar ke UK, sebutan pertama yang saya perolehi dari seseorang yang ‘berpelajaran tinggi’ adalah “ni mesti nak beli Merc”. Saya pun hairan kenapa la Merc ni dikaitkan dgn UK. banyak orang balik UK dengan membeli kereta BMW, Honda, Ford, Toyota, Matsubishi dan tidak kurang juga yang tidak membawa balik kereta.

Salah ke kalau nak membeli kereta sekali pun???? Orang yang buat Phd di Malaysia tak beli kereta ke??? beli jugak rasanya. Kereta BARU yang harganya beratus ribu. Tapi tak de sapa pun kisah. Yang balik dari UK ni yang beli USED car yang orang nak bising sangat. Dah la kereta tu harga tak sampai pun 20k. Tu yang dok sibuk sangat. Hairan betul saya. Gagal menghabiskan PhD dengan masa yang diperuntukkan juga dikaitkan dengan Merc. Macam mana orang yang berpelajaran tinggi boleh berfikir begitu.

Mau tanya lagi… Salah ke beli Merc???? Dari permerhatian saya, mereka yang membeli Merc pun bukannya menggunakan duit ELAUN belajar pun. Macam le elaun tu banyak sangat sampai mampu membeli kereta Merc. Jika Merc itu kereta idaman pun, saya lihat mereka yang membelinya memang bersusah payah. Yang mana isteri belajar, suami sibuk bekerja sebagai cleaner. Ada yang bekerja sehingga 4 tempat yang berlainan sehari. Ada yang bekerja angkat kotak yang berat dan pelbagai lagi. Masa bekerja ada yang dari jam 4 pagi dan hingga 10 malam. Perlu diingat iklim 4 musim di UK ni memang mencabar terutama musim sejuk. yang belajar pula, pukul 6 pagi dah pergi kerja, lepas kerja pergi school belajar. Jadi salah ke kalau diorang nak beli Merc sekali pun. Itu semua dari titik peluh mereka sendiri.

PHD terhadap kereta Merc. Kononnya kereta mewah di Malaysia. Tapi di UK ni tak siapa hairan kalau anda pakai Merc. Yang datang UK ni rata-rata telah menjual kereta mereka di Malaysia. Jadi salah kah jika mereka ingin membeli kereta di UK dan di bawa pulang? Disamping kerja tambahan, ada juga yang meminjam duit saudara mara untuk membeli kereta. Salah kah?

Janganlah sempitkan fikiran anda dengan PHD terhadap mereka yang membawa pulang kereta dari UK. Sokonglah mereka bagi berjaya mendapat PhD. Berikan galakan dan semangat. Bukannya dengan memerli mereka dengan pelbagai tomahan.

Saya belajar di UK tapi tak membeli Merc. Saya tak minat Merc pun. Tapi suami saya suka juga. Terpulanglah. Dia ada duit simpanannya masa dia bersusah-payah kerja dulu. Kalau dia nak beli pun, dia tak minta duit dari sesapa pun. Jadi tak perlulah penat-penat nak ber PHD. Kalau nak beli dan bawa balik pun, saya rasa itu hak dia. Tiada kaitan langsung dengan PhD dia. Tapi mungkin ada kaitan dengan PHD dari orang lain.