Tuesday, 11 January 2011



*Komentar akan dibalas seawal-awalnya esok ya. Keadaan kelam kabut disini. Banjir hujan ribut petir*

Masih menulis. Sudah 1100 perkataan. Perlu 900 perkataan. Ya ampun, kayaknya gue sudah pancit. Ngga mampu menulis. Tapi ngga mahu tidur, the dream eater will chase me. Idea itu seperti jadual tidur baby, menurut kawan saya. Ah, manis sekali bukan kalau ia datang semasa sedang menghadap computer. Ini tidak, ia selalunya datang semasa mandi, memasak dan mahu tidur! Allahim. Allahim. I hate it the most when it comes when I already half-dead, half asleep, the words come dancing shameless, and owh no, it is beautiful! I vow to myself that I'll remember it the next morning, but alas, it is to no avail.

I am laughing out of my breath when I read this, it is posted in my friend's tumblr - Market needs not to be self-creating, self-regulating, self-stabilizing and self-legitimizing. So, basically, are you Keynesian pro now, no? It is a statement basically announces to fully support the notion of government intervention.

To prepare oneself of accepting reality is real hard, right? No amount of preparations can prepare you, I assure you. All I am asking, Ya Allah ya Rahman ya Rahiim, please grant me the ability to be calmed, when the time comes.

Mum asked me to cut my hairs, due to several reasons that I have no energy to write on. Do I feel remorse? Yes. Mourning about it. Here I repost the entry about it, exactly mirroring my current feelings now.

I’ve mutilated my hairs. I crop it, cop it, and abuse it. Without guilty, I snip it happily, using mirror as the only witness to my temporary insanity. If I am brought to the Chamber of Justice, I will laugh heartily to the harsh accusation of the ill-treatment to the most sacred property of women: hairs.

If all sins can be forgiven through the pleading of the temporary insanity, the world will be the darkest place to live in the entire universe.

But I always have an irrational desire to influence the style of my hairs. Short, long, curly, straight. Perhaps influence is not the accurate word; I need the power to manipulate how my hairs look like. Or more likely, it is an instrument for me to let the depression out before it has a chance to envelope me. And I don’t give a damn to the criticisms. Maybe I dye it one day, if the plead of temporary insanity is still legally applied to me *sigh* or just to irritate the hell of out you.

No fear, I have no slightest intention of turning my hairs’ colour into blonde, or red, or purple, or delicious blue. Reason? I’m not interested in doing it. Let’s that be an untold, unattainable fantasy for some. Because you know, some people are just like a tip of iceberg. You strip the layers of fats, muscles and bones; you have the privilege to stare directly into their souls. Whether it is ugly of beautiful, don’t forget to use the reason of temporary insanity if the souls repulse you, or attract you. Come to think about it, maybe, just maybe, you are the one who are guilty beyond reasonable doubts of temporary insanity for falling in love or out of love.

A quote that I found somewhere in my bloglists –“ Nobody can think straight when high on passionate love. People are not allowed to sign contracts when they are drunk, and I sometimes wish we could prevent people from proposing marriage when they are high on passionate love”, Prof. Jonathan Haidt (21st century), a leading researcher in the positive psychology department.

My dear readers, before the fire of speculations becomes unruly, I’m not intoxicatingly in love, I’m not depressed (owh I know you want to challenge these self-proclamations), I’m still rational, sensible and sane. Just a thought for your lunch. Happy lunching. Let me float to the magnificent dreamland, where the unrest, weary hearts become stronger, wiser, and happier. Come with me, if you may.


Aishah Nur Hakim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MualimaH yg CHILL..=) said...

kak nur..haha..saya dah bc post ka nur psl rmbut sblum ni...
tetiba skang..saya plk rasa mcm nak gunting rmbut...hehe

happy bila kak nur dah start menulis semula..=)

saya skrang udah posting kak nur..ditempatkan di SK kota Masai 2.. pasir gudang..johor..

sekali lagi berjauhan dr family.T_T

doakn sy mnjadi mualimah yg memikul dan melaksanakn amanah dgn baik ya kak nur..
semoga kak nur pun berjaya di sana..;)

Hikari-san said...

*Err badai dan ribut taufan sudah berlalu? hehe, ur SV miss u.. :))

1. i woke up at 3am last night, just to write down an idea that suddenly appeared in my dream and sambung tido balik.. iskh..isk magic2.. takpe.. all those inspiration from Allah.. Alhamdulillah - wah jeles la boleh tulis 900 wors per day, syabas!

2-Err... the term keynesian is only familiar to economist but hey I' m googlesian pro - (hahah tak lawak) thank you mr google.. :))

4- i assumed you are having 'a bad hair day' ? no worries, i'll pray 4 u ok..:)

Nur said...

Aishah conteng,

yes, whatever that you have wrote in the facebook is correct. :)

Nur said...



Wah, mana kucing brutal? I like kucing brutal better, it does sound sooooo cute.

Mualimah, it reminds me of laskar pelangi, right?

InsyaAllah, my du'a is always with you. Please du'a for me too

Nur said...


Ah, at first I thought, yes, he did miss me, but after the meeting, hancuq lebuq noooooo..

1. I envy you. Always. I couldn't even force my eyes to open, let alone my finger to write the dancing ideas, the impish idea! It's miracle, aii? To be able to wake up at night and write the ideas? whoaaaaaaa, you must think about that a lots, thus forcing your subconscious to think it as well!

2. Yes, I'm beginning to be a better Miss Google! I read somewhere, if you doubt it, google it. Hilarious.

4. Nowadays, I always have a bad hair day. Well, trials and tribulations are parts of life, kan...

Hikari-san said...

think from positive angle ok, he really want you to produce the best! :)

1) those ideas bukan idea lengkap, ia samar2 ja.. but since saya pun ala2 tido cam tak tido (rasa cam ada penyakit insomnia pulak, tapi alhamdulillah masih boleh tido) huhuu tapi tu la penangan orang wat PhD ye tak.. aduiihhh... tapi sama gak cam awak nak kena buat conceptual framework where the ideas linked altogether but awak dah boleh writing dah okey, saya lak nak kena tunggu sume linked tu yang tak tertulis2..

2)saya sudah menggoogle apa itu secret garden..:))..

Insha'Allah everything will be fine - no worries ok

Aishah Nur Hakim said...

you get to read my comment here miss?

ingatkan sudah dipadam, segan oh.

there's this sudden feeling of what-ever-people-call-it when i found out it's your blog.

here's my prayer: mohon dipertemukan kita sekali lagi. dan bisa berkongsi.


selamat miss nur!

Nur said...


Thank, but coming back from today's meeting, i feel that something is amiss, perhaps it's my negativity or instinct, i'm not so sure.

secret garden tak best, serious. cuba awak tgk my girlfriend is gumiho, maybe 1st episode is a little bit crap, tapi saya sgt enjoy drama tuh! hehehehhe

semoga segala2nya dipermudahkan untuk awak jugak...

Nur said...


feeling apa itu? hahahha, jangan rasa apa2, saya ini orang biasa sahaja...yep, insyaAllah, semoga dipermudahkan ya..take care