Al-Jabbar: Mending the Broken Heart

ARTICLE TAKEN FROM HERE:

JINAN BASTAKI | MARCH 23, 2011 5:00 AM

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How to Achieve Tranquility of the Heart Series: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

In our journey to gain tranquility of the heart, we explored what we need to know when faced with difficult situations. We need to understand that Allah has told us we will be tested, that these tests are for a reason, and that there will be relief insha’Allah (God willing). When we are worried thinking about the future, we need to work hard but have full trust in Allah that He will not leave us, and we must always think well of Allah because that is what we will find.

Yet in certain circumstances we just feel… broken. Perhaps it is the death of someone close, perhaps a hurtful word, or perhaps a reason we can not pinpoint. Yet this feeling of brokenness can be an invitation to be better acquainted with al-Jabbar.

But isn’t al-Jabbar one of the Names that indicates Majesty and Strength, not Mercy and Beauty?

The root of al-Jabbar is ja-ba-ra and has a wide variety of meanings indicating Allah’s strength and majesty, which Sr. Amatullah explained to us in this excellent article. One of the basic meanings of this name is the One who compels and restores, and demonstrates Allah’s Majesty and Strength over His servants. This is a Name for the tyrants and oppressors to be aware of, because their misdeeds will not go unpunished.

Yet this Name has another dimension: al-Jabbar is the One who is able to restore and mend what is broken. Some of the great scholars would supplicate “Ya Jaabir kul kaseer” when they were faced with overwhelming difficulty, meaning “Oh You who mends everything that is broken.” The Arabic word for a splint that is used to help an arm heal when it is broken is “jibeera” from the same root ja-ba-ra. Thus, when we feel broken, we need to go to the only One who can mend our state–al-Jabbar. Sometimes when we get this broken feeling, shaytan (satan) tells us not to go to Allah because we are being hypocritical by only going to Allah when we are down. Yet this is untrue– Allah has named Himself al-Jabbar and given Himself this attribute; you cannot go to the One whose attribute is mending what is broken, and not be healed by Him.

The example of the Prophet ﷺ is a beautiful one. Imagine being 50 years old, having just lost both your wife of twenty-five years and your uncle who took care of you as a child. Imagine walking into a town in order to ask people for their protection, and instead have them throw stones at you until your feet bleed. How would you have felt? How exhausted, both spiritually and physically, would you have been? And yet, the Prophet ﷺ calls out to Allah in one of the most beautiful and heartfeltdu`a’ (supplication):

“O Allah! To you alone I complain my weakness, my scarcity of resources, and the humiliation I have been subjected to by people. O Most Merciful of those who have mercy! You are the Lord of the weak, and You are My Lord too.

To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair?

But as long as You are not angry with me, I do no care, except that Your favor is a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descend upon me.

Yours is the right to reproach until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.”

Read those words carefully. The du`a’ of the Prophet ﷺ was not “O Allah, please give me x and y.” It was literally the call of someone broken– complaining to Allah of his situation and expressing to Allah how he felt. What did Allah give him? A young boy by the name of Addaas saw the Prophet ﷺ, came to him with some grapes and kissed his bleeding feet. That is al-Jabbar. Imagine how the Prophet ﷺ must have felt after that, the relief he must have felt after the cruelty he was subjected to. And al-Jabbar healed the broken heart of the Prophet ﷺ in another way – He bestowed upon him the miraculous journey of al-Israa wal Mi’raaj (when the Prophet ﷺ traveled from Makkah to Jerusalem, and from Jerusalem to the Heavens in one night).

If we think about the journey, it did not accomplish a great victory nor did it help to convince the Quraysh that he was a rophet. Rather, Allah honored him after all the hardship he had gone through. Think of the resolve the Prophet ﷺ must have had in his heart and the tranquility he must have felt after such an experience.

Therefore, we have to always remind ourselves of this blessed name al-Jabbar; Allah will mend your broken heart. It may be through a kind word from someone that brightens your day or it may be a talk that you attend. It may even be something greater. But call on Allah like the Prophet ﷺ did, recognizing this attribute, and know that He will manifest this Name in your life.

Diambil dari sini.

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Semasa bertugas sebagai Imam di Belfast Islamic Centre, saya pernah terfikir “ini kerja gila!”

Masakan tidak.

Sendirian menjadi imam sepenuh masa, solat di masjid yang sama lima kali sehari, bertahun-tahun. Mengimamkan Solat Jumaat setiap minggu. Menikah kahwinkan orang dan menguruskan penceraian. Menjadi pengetua sekolah merangkap guru dan kerani. Mempunyai tugasan di universiti dan penjara dari semasa ke semasa. Dan senarai itu berterusan.

Ini bukan kerja seorang.

Ini kerja sebuah organisasi.

Tetapi ada sesuatu yang unik tentang kerja itu.

Bukan hanya pada soal pengalamannya, malah sesuatu yang pasti ialah segala urusan tamat usai mengerjakan solat Isyak.

Di sebelah siangnya bekerja sepenuh hati dan diri. Sesiapa sahaja yang ada urusan dengan saya datanglah ke pejabat. Bagi yang mahu mengaji, datanglah ke masjid. Semua urusan dilakukan di tempat yang satu. Semua selesai setelah selesai Solat Isyak.

Pulang ke rumah, saya boleh menghayati peringatan penting Rasulullah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:

عن أبي برزة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم كان يكره النوم قبل العشاء والحديث بعدها

Daripada Abu Barzah, sesungguhnya Rasulullah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam itu tidak menyukai perbuatan tidur sebelum Isyak dan berbual-bual selepasnya [Hadith riwayat al-Bukhari (568) dan Muslim (647)]

Tidur sebelum Isyak itu dikhuatiri akan menyebabkan solat berjemaah diabaikan, atau terlajak waktu.

Berbual-bual selepas Isyak pula tidak digemari kerana melewatkan tidur akan menyulitkan Qiamullail malah Solat Subuh.

Malah, malam itu memang dijadikan oleh Allah sebagai waktu berehat dan tidur, berbanding siang sebagai masa untuk bekerja dan beraktiviti. Bukankah Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’aala telah berfirman:

“Dan Kami telah menjadikan tidur kamu untuk berehat? Dan Kami telah menjadikan malam (dengan gelapnya) sebagai pakaian (yang melindungi)? Dan Kami telah menjadikan siang (dengan cahaya terangnya) – masa untuk mencari rezeki?” [Al-Naba' 78: 9-11]

Ia adalah Syariatullah.

Ia juga adalah Sunnatullah.

Apabila keadaan yang disediakan Allah ini dimanfaatkan, hidup bukan sahaja dilimpahi keberkatan malah makmur dengan kesihatan dan potensi diri yang optimum.

Melanggarnya?

Antara Harus, Makruh dan Haram, kesan segera timbul pada fisiologi.

Kesan melanggar fitrah.

KEHIDUPAN PARA USTAZ

Isteri dan anak-anak masih bersabar dan sudi memaafkan keletihan ini. Namun sampai bila?

Isunya ada dua.

Ustaz itu sendiri. Dirinya adalah pemegang kunci kepada kawalan diri dan kehidupan.

Keduanya adalah persekitaran.

Keputusan pemeriksaan perubatan semenjak setahun dua ini tidak menggalakkan. Malah saya sendiri sentiasa letih tidak bermaya.

Saya sudah ‘menceburkan diri’ di dalam ‘kerjaya Kuliah Maghrib’ ini semenjak di usia 18 tahun, iaitu selama saya berada di Malaysia. Di Jordan keadaannya berbeza. Di Turki tiada ‘budaya ‘Kuliah Maghrib’ untuk dihadiri. Di UK dan Ireland, sudah saya ceritakan.

Di Malaysia ini saya tersepit. Dalam serba kepayahan memegang kunci kehidupan sendiri, saya terbelenggu oleh satu corak kehidupan yang seperti melanggar Sunnah dan Fitrah.

Ketika kereta berduyun pulang ke rumah bersama mentari senja, saya pula mula bergerak menongkah kesesakan lalu lintas untuk ‘bekerja shif malam’ menuju Kuliah Maghrib. Ada yang sekitar kurang 10km dari rumah, tidak sedikit yang sejauh 20 atau 30km sebagai rutin tetap, selain dari semasa ke semasa bergerak ke luar Lembah Kelang dengan jalan darat dan udara.

Selepas kuliah, ada jamuan makan. Teh mesti manis-manis. Mesti kaw-kaw punya! Masakan, kurang sedikit meja pengantin, ada kalanya. Puas menepis, dan sehingga kini saya banyak berjaya menepis atau menjamah sedikit sahaja ‘demi menjaga hati tuan rumah’ dan penganjur.

“Kami masak semenjak pagi, ustaz!” kata sesetengahnya.

Sayu!

Usai kuliah dan ceramah, memandu sepi membelah sepi, tiba di rumah sudah detik 12 malam. Sering juga lajak ke jam 1 atau 2 malah 3 pagi. Sungguh memenatkan.

Badan melekit-lekit, tekak dahaga. Perut berkeroncong kerana sebelum Maghrib tidak sempat makan, selepas ceramah pula ‘malu-malu kucing’ menolak hidangan. Jika kuat semangat, tidur berlapar. Jika lemah semangat, perlu juga menjamah sesuatu.

Itulah rutin.

Semasa melabuhkan diri dan cuba memejamkan mata, “eh, ceramah pagi esok! Powerpoint belum siap!”

Sejam lagi ditambah masa berjaga.

Qiamullail dalam kepayahan. Solat Subuh bermujahadah menolak keletihan.

Di manakah kesudahannya?

Kini, sebiji epal pun sudah melonjakkan kandungan gula di dalam diri tanda insulin sudah tidak berfungsi dengan baik. Hormon Endorphin sudah tidak dihasilkan secara neutral, hingga stress dan rasa sakit tidak dapat dilawan dengan sempurna. Sentiasa tertekan. Tambah-tambah pula dengan pemandu Malaysia yang sopan santun itu. Di sampingnya pula, Cortisol semakin bermasalah dan menghuru-harakan sistem di dalam diri.

“Dakwah tidak mampu digalas oleh orang-orang yang manja” terdengar petikan kisah pejuang-pejuang silam.

Ia mendatangkan sejuk kaki tatkala ingin mencari ruang rehat dan riadah.

Berdakwah di waktu malam, mengorbankan tidur, membiarkan makan minum jadi tidak menentu, sesuaikah ia dengan Sunnah dan Fitrah?

Nabi dulu macam inikah?

Saya cuba mengatur semula dan semua.

Kisah telus dilema seorang pendakwah yang obes, diabetik, keletihan dan hodoh diri untuk dijadikan teladan, bisa mengundang ejekan dengan pengakuan ini, tetapi saya yakin ada ramai di luar sana, yang terbelenggu oleh kondisi yang sama.

Ustaz-ustaz gemuk, menggemukkan dan terus digemukkan, termasuk oleh peminat-peminat setia mereka!

Bagaimana?

Saya sedang menyuntik hCG di perut. Pengambilan kalori terhad kepada 500 sehari. 40 hari mujahadah, demi diri dan dakwah yang memerlukan da’i bernafas panjang!

Dan Sunnah Isyak… masih jauh daripada sebuah kepastian.

Bismillahhir-Rahman nir-Rahim

Assalamualaikum,

Sahabat-sahabat yang dikasihi, yang sentiasa dihati, yang sentiasa mempercayai keajaiban, yang mencintai kebenaran, yang mencari erti kehidupan sebenar.

Yang sentiasa percaya kepada kekuatan doa.

Yang sentiasa memerangi segala seteru di luar dan di dalam diri.

I've just received another paper to be corrected. Strange, the part needed to be polished is literature review. The first paper? It's the methodology and consequently the results. The second paper? It's solely the result, which drive me to the wall. Strange, strange, strange. I never believe it that I possess different strengths in different papers.

I see the moon again now, the yellow-cheese moon. The beautiful moon which will become a half one in a few days. I can spend hours just looking at the moon, to marvel at its unparalleled beauty. Can we just fly over there? And she zikr to the Most Merciful. I once read that the moon is the reflection of Prophet Muhamad saw's beauty. How lucky the sahabah who live in his time. But I am being blessed too, for being chosen as one of his umat. Alhamdulillah.

Now is the Easter Holiday. My flatmate, Lina, has gone back to Germany, bringing the warmth and happiness with her as life a little bit flat with her departure. I was contemplating to go back too, if my SV hasn't preventing it. To leave everything here. Knowing that many students will go home make me so miserable. I. Just. Want. To. Go. Home. I used to call mum and cried, telling her that I want to go home. But I can't do it nowadays, can I. For once I want to be a kid again, just crying and my parents will hurry to pick me up from school.

I wish I had a door that serves as a magic portal, like in Howl's Moving Castle anime. One door to my hometown. One door leads to Durham, of course. One door to....Paris? To the Eiffel Tower, where I can reminisce the sweet past. And the last door that leads to there.

There. Where happiness is everywhere.