Bismillah hir-Rahman nir-Rahim,
Allahumma Solli A'la Saiyidna Muhamad, Waa'la aa'li Saiyidna Muhamad.
I have lost a lot of things, tangible things, that break my heart for a long, long time.
I've lost my watch last year, which I have it for nearly 10 years. Yes, I am, was, that careful when it comes to that watch. Mainly it is because the watch is my Mum's present and it was really expensive. The first luxurious thing that I own. Strangely, I never really love that watch, except during its first few years. My mum always takes care of that watch whenever I am home, for example, she will put it in the cabinet, while if it was up to me, I am surely put it whenever it convenient for me. I think she loves that watch more than me.
One day, my naughty side appears out of no where. I call Mum and tell her that I've lost my watch. She is distraught, as predicted, and she asks me to call the watch (in Malay, seru). Yah, the shaman Mum! I am laughing silently and promise her that I'll find it. Then, whamp! I have lost it for real. Goodness me, now it is my turn to be hysterical.
After searching high and low for that watch, I still can't find it. Crestfallen, I know without a doubt that this is Allah's reprisal, and there is no other way except repentance. It was a year without any watch, as I have no desire to buy the replacement. Partly it's due to my inability to choose any watch, and another part is I feel that there is no need for a watch. Time isn't as priceless as before.
Then, a miracle happens, if you want to classify it as a miracle. I have found it in my jacket's pocket, and I nearly cry. You, you watch, have no heart at all. Teasing me for being absent for a long time, and suddenly appears with a huge grin. Owh I feel like flying over the dusk, and meet the golden sky.
I've lost my handphone, which absolutely drove me crazy. Yes, I couldn't live without my handphone, as it is the fastest device that connects me to the real world. Then, after I've accepting a reality, a calm feeling envelopes me. I don't really love that handphone, always tossing it onto my bed without a care. This is the second luxurious thing that I've bought, and I'm contemplating of buying another luxurious handphone that will last me for quite sometimes.
Then, it turns up on the night before I boarded to the UK, with the mischievous smile. I am relieved of course, I do not have to buy a new one, and the one that I really really want badly is the iphone, which serves no purpose for the traditional people like me.
But it was dead yesterday, with no visible diseases. No warning, no hint. I think it has a heart attack, after serving me for more than 5 years without fail. I tried to revive it, alas, to no avail. I am genuinely devastated. Still am. RIP, my dear, I'll conduct a funeral ceremony tomorrow.
I've lost countless money due to various reasons which I do not care to write it here. But I'll never forget the first time my money was stolen, it was in the college. I always go home on the weekend, no matter how busy I am. I hate life in KL, still hate it, and Mum and Dad always ask me to be home anyway.
I still remember clearly, on the Friday morning, I have RM30 exact, for the bus fare and food. With the content heart, I left my purse in my beg to move to another class for presentation session. Little I know that it was the last time that I saw the money. When we were back, many of us have lost our money. It was a commotion, as we accused some guys to steal it, owh the guys are not from our class, it was a long story.
With no sign of confession from anybody, I accepted the fact that I couldn't go home on that weekend. The thought of not being able to go home hurt me so, so much more that losing the money. I called Mum, and cried. Owh I was a poor student at that time, and proud too.
You guys know what Mum told me? "Don't worry, Allah swt will replace it with Rm30,000, or even RM300,000, insyaAllah. Don't cry anymore, do you want me to put the money into your account?"
Why do I write these things that I've lost? I have a deep conviction that, yes, Allah swt will always replace it with the better things, provided that we are patient with the trials.