Monday, 20 June 2011



Syukran for the encouraging words, to live strongly, to accept (redha) and to be grateful and syukr. Many bloggers have made a personal entry about me, and I am really touched. Ya Allah Ya Maha Pengasih, please grace your unbounded blessings to these friends and strangers.

Yesterday, I was deeply, extremely sad.

It really hurts, until now, and to be honest, I'm not good. Not good at all. Broken, all over the places.

Tetapi, sahabat-sahabat yang dimuliakan, sudah ku khabarkan bahawa Allah itu Maha Baik? The Utmost Kind. Kerana hiburan yang dihantarkan kepada saya bukan calang-calang nilainya. yang membuatkan saya begitu humble sekali, dan mengutuk diri sendiri yang tidak pernah berasa syukur dalam erti kata sebenar.

Saya ditegur oleh rakan lama semalam. Dia, yang mengerti bahawa peritnya erti kehilangan. Dia, yang mengetahui bahawa luka saya, akan mengambil masa yang panjang untuk sembuh.

Dia, the only child.

Dia, who lost a mother at the tender age of 16.

Dia, who has a severe relationship with a daddy.

Dia, yang masih 'sane', and still able to smile.

Dia, yang masih solat, tunduk mengadap Allah swt dan memohon keampunan untuk ibunya.

Seharusnya saya patut lebih kuat dari dia.

Alfatihah- to my late dad, to all deceased muslimin and muslimat, mukminin and mukminat.


tepianmuara said...


Time can heal what reasons can't.
and Allah can heal everything.


Ermayum said...

salam I am glad the last post is not yr last now :)

Nur my tears still fall now and then you know, i came back from kg bila my mum dah dikebumikan. I found my dad when he was already without soul, I lambat skit ja Nur, I tak sempat utk say my or hear their last words but you were there facing their last moment, how I wish I were there :(, how i wish, how I really REALLY wish

- I guarantee you whatever you feel wont get any easier but I guarantee you also that Allah wont leave you alone (i bet you already know that)

*hugs* and take great care of yr mum ye

Hikari-san said...

I'm glad for the update! :D

Alfatihah.. ameen
Take care!

Nur said...


Thanks, insyaAllah.

Doakan kami.

Nur said...


I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for the encouragement. About your mum, you just come back from kampung, then you miss your own mum's funeral? Where is your kampung?

But Sis Erm, to see your own father breathing his last breathes, is extremely difficult. The images stay with me until it can drive me crazy. But this is rezk for everybody. I hope my departure will be blessed like our fathers. InsyaAllah.

Thanks, hug you back, and take care

Nur said...


Thanks for the encouraging words! Miss you, study hard and hope to see you in London, insyaAllah.

Take care.

Ermayum said...

It was 4th day of raya in 2009 - i left my parents house on evening of first raya to go hubby hometown. when my dad called me 3 days later i was in kuala berang trengganu - no matter how fast i drive or i fly i wont be able to make it dear - i wont - she passed away at 230pm by asar all selamat dikebumikan all is so easy for her and my dad makes the decision to bury her ASAP without leaving her overnight at home - people say she looks so beautiful so angelic and all smiling - i meraung in the car Nur - i ask my sis to snap her last face but she did not manage to do it sebab makcik makcik yang uruskan jenazah tu scold her .

i think nasib i memang tak baik but I aslo know that how Allah plans it to be that way because she or he (my dad) could go any other time but Allah chose it that way - a great test for me - that somehow i wonder I manage to go through it

I read Al fatihah for yr dad as well now and then whenever I thought of you I thought of yr abah

Nur said...


I cry when I read your reply. I am deeply sorry to hear that. But you know what, knowing that they leave the world with a smile, is a huge, huge relief. Trust me Erm, that's what I wrote, that thing, that single thing saves me from being crazy and deeply hurt.

I dont think you are unlucky for not witnessing their departures. Mesti banyak hikmahnya. Sabarlah. InsyaAllah Erm, sabar sahajalah, kerana Allah bersama-sama dengan orang-orang yang bersabar. Dan keberadaan Allah swt bersama kita, is the greatest blessing, ever.

AlFatihah to our much, much beloved dads, and your mum too.