Monday, 15 November 2010



I was trying to write beautifully in English, however, since it had been months since I touched any journals, as expected, my language ability has been drown into the Elvet River.

I was trying to write anything worthwhile, but nothing comes. It is just a black hole whenever I think about the blog entry. Seriously. It is not a depression. No. I have long learned that fate could not bow onto me, it is the other way around.

My anger has been dissipated. No. It is not an anger, perhaps it is close to an anger. I could direct it to whomever I want, but since I realise now it is not an anger, I'm lost at how to get rid of it. I really want to hurdle it to someone, but it is not a negative, ugly feeling that I should free it.

My close friends, Huda and Cikpa are now in Arafah, zikr and pray to the Most Exalted. Jealousy, ectasy, joy and sadness envelope me. I would be among the choosen ones, but again, have I stated it before that who are you to predict the fate?

I remember our last Arafah Day, where we celebrated it by eating at the pizza hub - in which I could not even remember its name now. I prayed hard that I will be among the Haj pilgrims next year. InsyaAllah, insyaAllah, the moment will come. I do know now that my preparation is nil, that is why Allah swt hasn't call me yet.

Daripada Jabir telah berkata : telah bersabda Rasulullah S.A.W yang artinya : Apabila tiba hari Arafah maka sesungguhnya Allah telah memuji dengan mereka para malaikat maka kataNya : lihatlah kepada hamba-hambaKu yang telah datang padaKu dengan berdebu dalam keadaan berduyun-duyun daripada setiap pelusuk, Aku bersaksi depan kamu(malaikat) bahawa Aku telah mengampuni mereka. Maka kata malaikat : Sesungguhnya ada di kalangan mereka pulan telah baligh dan pulan.Sabda baginda lagi : Allah berfirman: sesungguhnya Aku telah mengampuni mereka. Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W : maka tiada daripada hari lebih ramai orang yang bebas daripada neraka daripada hari Arafah. - Hadis isnadnya sohih dikeluarkan oleh Ibnu Khuzaimah dan Baihaqi.

Labbaikallah, may this Eid bring you inner peace.


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