Assalamualaikum
Buat sahabat yang selalu ku cari untuk mengisi kekurangan ku, bukan untuk mengisi kekosongan ku. Untuk santapan roh ku. Yang sentiasa di hati dan takkan pernah mati.
Apakah khabar sahabatku? Ceriakah anda disana?
Today’s weather is 1 Celsius. As I’m in my comfy, in my room, writing to u, I don’t know how cold the outside is. But the weather is absolutely brilliant. Beautiful. The sun is shining, and my heart is also singing, I’m becoming sick of thinking how my heart has became so much dependent on the sun to be happy.
The weather cannot be trusted you know, fully trusted. Even when the sun is shining so arrogantly, it is very2 cold outside there. I have to be a penguin again, but thank God, I don’t have any urgent things to do today, I can put it off for today I mean. Ah! Miss Procrastination!
I went to the university last Friday, and it was absolutely cold, but again, the weather was deceiving everyone, thinking that the sun was out, the sky was cloudless, but it was actually windy, so windy. I couldn’t walk as normal walk, as the wind kept blowing at me, and at one time, I have to stand, or otherwise the wind will swipe me off- thank God, I have put an extra weight-otherwise I’ll be flying!
I forget of what actually I want to write. But as spring is here, everyone's mood is lighter, and happiness is everywhere. I hope too, that the happiness resides in your beautiful, beautiful heart.
I always think that I’m good with words. I can write beautiful sentences that can convey my true, exact feelings. I can even construct sentences that will force people to think and reflect. That’s quite an achievement I think, I mean, being able to move people is an honour, bestow by God Al-Mighty.
But lately, the gift is lost. (See, I’m at lost to explain it). Because I haven’t read much these past 2 years, I haven’t pruned my skills. I also do not have the ability anymore; can it be God already took it away? (Owh my God – nauzubillah).
Simply, I think, I don’t have a heart anymore. The heart is everything for me. I’m not a logical person like one of my best friends. I also do not possess the magic of writing with the flair like the other one. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Heart.
Where have you been? Are you trying to leave me? Are you sick? Are you simply vanishing into a thin air and leaving me stranded? Or are you playing a hide-and-seek game? Do you really have to disappear at this crucial moment? Don’t toy with me; you know that I’m not strong enough without you.
And where are you at the time where I need you the most? Life is black without you. No more a rainbow. Or prism. At least, a prism will shine when the light goes through it. And the best prism is you.
But, if, the manifestation of kun fayakun is indeed that you will be disappear, so be it.
p/s: ini ler ghopanyer kalau patah hati. I hate it. Thus, don’t ever fall in love with football. It is useless. Damn worthless. Damn hopeless.
