Sunday, 2 January 2011



Bismillah hir-rahman nir-Rahiim.

My friend told me: this world is a place for trials and tribulations. Stay calm, stay cool.

However, I replied, it is really really difficult to strive at that.

He looked straight at me, calmly retorted, did you strive hard to be a scholar?

I was aghast. With a cheeky smile, he told me that the hardship of the academic journey is perhaps, equivalent to the struggle of mastering yourself. Perhaps less. Definitely less.

I always have a respect for him. Not even before he becomes a friend. He always says things that are rightly hammering home.

(Do not let your imagination runs wild. He is definitely a friend.)

I have a homework. Summarize all the findings and relate it tightly to Malaysian economy. However, as I haven't read any single journal in these five months (horror, horror), I couldn't write. I expect my SV wants a beautifully written piece of work. I always have this kind of suspicion, that the flow of my thoughts couldn't be depicted into words. It has flaws. And the flaws couldn't be more than ugly.

I will leave everything and everyone that I love in Malaysia soon. That's why I hate history, as I tend to be a soppy person. Every memory, sweet or bitter, is always torturing me,me, who wear my heart on the sleeves. Would you believe it that I found an old old book in our store, title The Introduction of the History? I chuckle, couldn't believe that both of my parents are big on history. None of us inherits that trait. Most of us pursue other courses rigorously. And economics rightly teaches me that facts and facts alone define the world. Emotions have a little room in my heart, when I am in the mood of being a student.

There are no moon and stars tonight. Is it possible to fall in love with the dead?